BY: RABIA ZAFAR, PHARM. D., BATCH XI
The pen has the power to change the world and the author plays a major role in this.
‘The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but to say what we all are unable to say.’
Overthinking and asking many questions can be a negative thing, but these things make a good writer, just like these qualities made me sit here in front of her.
‘So what inspired you to be a psychotherapist?’ I ask.
‘Seriously, I don’t know why I chose this field,’ she smiled. ‘But from the very beginning I loved to know what people thought; in childhood, even in my teen years, I wished I could have a superpower that could see a thinking cloud over a person’s head, which could tell me what he or she was thinking at that time.’
‘Isn’t it frustrating to hear problems daily?’ I frowned.
‘No it isn’t… it gives me some lessons too.’ ‘What type of lessons?’ I asked hastily.
She looked outside the window in her office.
‘Lessons about life.’
‘About life? I guess life is difficult to understand. Everyone has a different story.’
She glanced at me.
‘Yes, everyone does… but behind every story, there is a question about life, don’t you think?’ She asked, raising her eyebrows.
‘I’ve never had time to think any of these things.’ I shrugged my shoulders.
‘Every person goes through something during their entire life which raises questions for them, but the conclusion is, that some found an answer, while others wonder their whole lives.’
‘What questions do people ask?’ I still didn’t quite understand.
‘The questions I have heard are usually the same, like…’ she paused. ‘Like why life is so complicated? Behind every story, I found this one simple question.’
‘So what do you think? Why is life complicated?”
‘It isn’t. But our minds make it so. If we don’t face difficulties in life, what would that mean? It means we can’t be mature. Life teaches us lessons to be strong and to introduce us to the real world. It simply wants us to be patient and thankful.’
She explained like a professional, but instil felt confused.
I continued, ‘But sometimes patience does not work, and we still don’t get what we want.’
‘Maybe the thing you want is not good for you. Allah knows better than us.’
‘If that thing is not good for us then why are we so obsessed with it?’ I added.
‘We are human beings. And human beings always wish for better, either in the sense of a house, a job, or love; we don’t give up on our dreams easily and are never satisfied with what we have. We always want better and try to get it, but again, it is upon Allah to give us that thing. There are always three answers to your prayer: either you have to wait for that thing at the right time, or it’s not good for you and He has a better plan, or you will get the reward for it in the hereafter.’
She narrowed her eyes. ‘Do you get it?’
I nodded with a smile. ‘I want to ask a personal question.’
‘Yes?’ She asked calmly.
‘Why do people change? Why do their behaviours change with time?’ I was particularly eager to know this answer.
‘Because people cannot be same as always. They enter your life for a reason, and leave behind a lesson.’
I gave her a satisfied look.
‘My last question,’ she nodded for me to continue. ‘A successful psychotherapist, and a woman, is it a profit or loss?’
She paused for thought.
‘People often think of it as a loss because they think women can’t be successful, or they have a different mind, or they have responsibilities of their families, but no. A woman can be independent if she can take care of both her personal and official lives.’
‘Thank you, doctor,’ I smiled. ‘It was wonderful meeting you, and I hope I can meet you again but not as your patient.’
‘A psychotherapist can solve normal people’s problems too.’
‘Questions with quality create a life of quality; Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.’
About the author: A person who can’t spend a single second without overthinking.